pigs or kids?

The following post is a huge generalization, I know, but nevertheless speaks about the overall trend.

Something that happens all the time to me is random strangers coming up to tell me to put warmer clothes on my kids. Which I just sort of ignore. But then a lot of Egyptian women that I know do the same thing. Haram! they say, put more clothes on her, she'll get sick. And I see the "what a terrible mom" look in their eyes.

Or the other thing they will do is say "Bravo,.... bravo!" to my 3 year old because she finished all her cake! Now I ask you, who actually wants children to finish all their cake? I see parents here force-feeding cake to their kids. Not only do they over stuff them with food (little piggy syndrome), but they stuff them with things like cake! And actually scold the poor kid when he says he doesn't want anymore. "Oh but look at your brother! He's eating his cake!" (nevermind that he is 4 years old and weighs 75kg).

So basically the two measures of a good mom in Egypt are that you bundle your kids up (sometimes even in the height of summer) and you stuff your kids full of any food you can get your hands on (the more samna and sugar the better apparently). What are we raising here? Fat overheated piggies? Is taking care of two physical needs all there is to being a parent? (I say two because other physical needs are left by the wayside, like sleep -- witness the kids falling asleep in the morning on their school buses and in their classrooms). No, the measures of being a good mom are limited to stuffing and bundling.

So what about moral and mental development? It seems like this is not even on anyone's minds at all. Mothers are continually lying to their kids, and everyone who takes care of them does the same. When people try to lie to my kids my husband (yes Egyptian) and I make them stop. Telling their kids "if you finish your cake we will buy you a toy gun", is just one of those everyday lies that parents tell their kids. Poor kid stuffs his face with the cake thinking he's going to get the toy gun, except then it turns out mom wasn't planning to get it afterall. Little wonder that next time this ploy doesn't work so well. And the saddest part of it is this poor, eager, enthusiastic kid loses his trust in mom (and everyone else). All simply so that he would finish his cake (or put on his coat, or stop crying). "Stop crying, dear, your mom is coming right now." Except mom is not coming right now and everyone knows it.

Why is it that this kind of lying goes by without a comment? Isn't moral training the most important part of raising a child? Why does it take such a back seat? We've all been at playgrounds where a kid is hogging the swing. Except his mother doesn't tell him to get off and let another kid have a turn. Oh, no, she wants her child to learn selfishness and complete lack of respect for others. I have had arguments with people that won't give up the swing. The parents actually think they are fighting for their child's "rights"! And then you wonder why grown Egyptians can't stand in a line, why they actually push their way to the front and take everything they can get without any regard for human decencies like taking turns, or even giving anyone a little space.

I'll tell you why. It's because parents value the basic physical needs of their children and forget that their children are human, and need to be trained in morals and behaviour (not to mention mental training).

But nevermind all that -- I'm a BAD mom because I don't make my kids finish their cake.