One thing that makes my blood boil is when a woman gets assaulted people ask what she was wearing. That's what people actually ask here in Egypt all the time. Some even go so far as to blame the woman for being out of the house, if she was covered from head to toe. There's always got to be something wrong with the woman, it's somehow always her fault that a man couldn't control himself.
This is what's wrong with Egyptian society in my view. I am differentiating completely here from Islam. No, I'm talking about the culture and society. The difference is night and day. One calls people to nobility, self-control and decency. The other calls them to the lowest abasement and depravity.
I actually sometimes feel sorry for all the men here (when I am not boiling at them). I think, my God, these men never even had the chance to develop self-control. Nobody ever taught them that it could be possible. As a result they become complete captives of their sexual lusts. They are raised from day one to somehow think that their sexual appetites are something that are impossible to control, and in any case shouldn't be controlled. It may have been different in the past, and this may not be what parents are directly teaching their boys, but that's the message they are getting.
And therefore, women should stay inside. You see it's their own fault if they go in the street and get attacked, because men have no self-control. But even this "solution" misses the deep dark secret that many Egyptian girls and women are being molested by their own male family members. They don't even have to go outside. So, what's a woman to do then? Obviously, there is no end to this problem by putting the blame on women. Where else can they go, how much more can they cover, how much further away can they hide themselves? Men will still get to them and abuse them no matter what, so long as men believe that self-control is not their own responsibility.
Are their animal desires completely masters of them? Do you not find this a sad thing? What a piteous state for these men to be ensnared in. Do you not think so? Every ounce of humanity is stripped from them because their animal desires are allowed to run rampant, and not just rampant but the fires of it are being fueled on a regular basis (yes, I'm talking about porn, which almost every Egyptian man is addicted to). These men are so consumed by the baser nature of man that they have lost their dignity and even the right to be called human.
I do think it is very grave. And I do feel sad for the men. I wonder if they had been taught that they can control their urges (just like most of us are potty trained and so on), then they actually might. It's this insidious belief that creeps in and has spread that men are not able to control themselves, so they don't. And I think when you have let yourself live out of the bounds of control for so long, it's not an easy thing to learn.
This does not mean I don't believe in modesty. But the thing is, modesty is a matter of intention and motive. Modesty is not what you're wearing, or covering your head or staying at home. Everyone knows that a veil will not stop a woman from seducing a man if that is her intention. Even a woman in a full black veil still puts eyeliner on and can still walk sexy and try to be a sexual object. So, it's completely irrelevant what she's wearing. If she is meaning to be decent, and that is her pure intention, then that's what counts. And that's all she is answerable to God for. But the men, are they not accountable too? Does this thought never cross their minds?
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7 comments:
you are simply completely wrong.
try to meet real Egyptians`... and not the ones who are westernized culturally
Dear Nasr,
as a 'European' who has been to Egypt 6 times in the last 4 years, and just come back from 3 months stay.
I would tend to agree with the author, and I can also tell you I have heard it from men's mouths directly, in Egypt, telling me 'men can do what they like'.
Also Nasr,
I know that there are honourable men in Egypt, so I do not want to criticise every male under the Egyptian sun. But the problem is that I realised that in general men are not criticised for their actions, whereas women will have to take all the responsibity for the actions of the men.
You say not to look only at 'Westernised men'.
This actually is very telling what you say.
Because for example, I was in a certain place I won't mention, but you will probably guess from what I am saying if you are Egyptian and this particular place is famous for being 'like another country'. But no it is not from the 'West' as far as I am concerned and have never seen anything like it in my own experience, until I hit a certain district of Istanbul that had suffered the same fate.
Everybody was saying to me this particular place was like Europe.
No it was nothing, 'sifr', not one small iota of any small tiny, very small thing like Europe.
This place has become (over a very short time) exactly like Russia.
You can guess where.
I have never seen Russian prostitutes in my country or anywhere else in Europe.
In my country, men do not in general come up to you and ask you to have sex because 'they haven't touched girl for x number of months' out of the blue, as if 'I' happen to be put on this earth solely for the gratification of this moron's ego who I have not expressed any remotest interest in.
In England, where I come from, men have self control and respect for women, and will be charged with sexual harrassment, assault or indecency or rape for the sort of things that 'Egyptians' seem to think is 'normal'.
I noticed that this particular 'place' that I am talking about seems to be suffering from a collective 'delusion' about exactly what 'Europe or the West' is like, and that this actually comes from the Egyptian government. I actually looked on the Egyptian government for this place, and it said this place is like 'Europe', making no mention of the fact that the reality is that this particular place now has 70% Russians.
Like I said, it is nothing at all like Europe.
In the UK for example, I was reading only the other day that men who have sex with women who are under the influence of alcohol are now with new laws being put into force, liable to be charged with 'rape' exactly because the women is not in full control of her faculties in that state, and therefore the man will have taken advantage of her unfairly. It is up to the man to control himself for his own actions.
He has a brain, he is expected to use it.
In Egypt, unfortunately too many times I have heard the blame is constantly put on the woman.
If a man rapes a woman, then she is blamed.
But the woman is the weaker sex. If there is no 'law' in Egypt to protect women, then they are defenseless.
The law is not defending the weak from exploitation. It is allowing exploitation.
As a 'foreigner' myself who was unfortunately abandoned by my Egyptian fiancee with no explanation, I found myself very vulnerable in a place that I would consider quite dangerous for a woman on her own. I was fortunate to find a job with accomodation, but as I mentioned before, the particular climate in this particular area was not a safe place for a woman to be in, exactly because it is nothing like Europe.
I was verbally sexually harrassed on a number of ocassions, even though I was wearing fully islamic clothing at all times.
This in England is arrestable behaviour.
Also I would point out that a number of people who 'sexually harrassed me' were also working at the time.
This also would cause them to lose their jobs if they were in the UK.
In fact, I would say that about 80% of the population of this particular place would be arrested on various charges of sexually inappropriate behaviour in the UK. Prostitution was rife, Russian females on one hand, and Egyptian males on the other hand. Yes, this is also something that I have never heard of or seen before, except for witnessing it also, in Turkey. Again, I have never heard nor seen of male prostitution in the UK, and it would be considered particularly low, in fact far more low than a female prostitute.
As mentioned this is unheard of certainly where I come from, and I have never seen a prostitute male or female in my life in the UK for example.
The police in Egypt as far as I am concerned are a complete joke in confronting this serious issue, because as far as I am concerned, if Egypt seriously wants to attract tourists that are both male and female and to be a safe place for any females that do not happen to be Russian prostitutes, then it is not a very good place to be at the moment.
Personally I see this as a very serious problem for Egypt.
As far as I am concerned, the way that I view it, is that this kind of behaviour is totally permitted and even covertly encouraged, simply because 'Egypt is a man's world' where men literally get away with murder at the expense of women.
If you knew ANYTHING about the West, you would realise that women's rights are something that are taken VERY seriously in Europe and also in America, which is what the term 'West' normally refers to.
Russia instead, is somewhere that is rife with corruption, exploitation, prostitution etc. and this instead seems to be exactly the kind of culture that now has found itself quite happily in Egypt with no problems and no complaints.
I should also point out to you, that I discussed the issue relatively recently of the problem with 'Egyptian men' with an American female employment lawyer, and she told me exactly that in general Egyptian men tend to follow the exact same pattern regarding problems with their employers at work. These are 'sexually inappropriate behaviour', 'complete inability to accept blame', 'point blank refusal to tell the truth about their misconduct'.
At the same time, I am also very much aware that Egyptian society is a blame culture where any indication of blame will be greeted by a heavily censorious attitude given the slightest opportunity. I know that this means that in general people will completely refuse to admit guilt or wrong doing for fear of giving the 'other' an excuse to criticise, so this encourages an excessively defensive attitude verging on paranoia.
I know that this was the case with my fiancee, who after a misunderstanding in communication, went to the opposite extreme of complete point blank refusal to even admit that I existed or that he knew me even to other people who tried to talk to him on my behalf.
I know that other people also when discussing certain things would just totally bottle up and refuse to discuss certain issues if they were problematic, even though I was seeking to find positive solutions.
It is not the sort of climate that is conducive to understanding or 'evolution'.
In fact I would see it as the opposite. My feeling is that in fact Egypt seems to be going backwards and actually seems to be losing its culture and respectability quite rapidly.
In Europe, what people don't realise, is that we have developed 'freedom' within certain 'narrowly defined rules'.
So for example, women don't have to wear burkas, because they don't have to be afraid of being raped on the streets.
Women can wear bikinis on the beach in Europe, because they do not expect to be harrassed by men when they do so, because the men respect themselves and leave the women alone.
In Egpyt, men will take the slightest excuse and then blame the woman for doing so. The number of times I have witnessed this is unbelievable. I am sorry you might not want to admit it (of course, you are Egyptian!) but it's true!
I apologise.
When I said:
I actually looked on the Egyptian government for this place, and it said this place is like 'Europe', making no mention of the fact that the reality is that this particular place now has 70% Russians.
I was referring to the fact that I looked on the Egyptian government's tourism website for this area, and it described it as like Europe, not saying anything about Russians, not one small word.
Therefore, it seems to be a collective delusion that is based on incorrect information given by your own government.
Personally I find it is extremely offensive that Egyptian men are using the excuse of thinking that they are being 'Western' to justify their most disgusting and debased dishonourable behaviour, without having a clue of what 'Western Cultural Values' actually are. As mentioned before, the values I came across seemed to have far more to do with 'Russian' values, which is a totally different continent to either America or Europe. So it is like saying that somebody who is behaving in an Islamic way is behaving Australian. The reality is that most people in Egypt don't even know where 'Australia' or 'America' or 'Europe' or 'Russia' actually are. They just look at the skin colour and think that all people are the same.
They haven't got a clue that Russia is a totally different continent in itself, and the population have been oppressed, their cultural and historical values totally fragmented, destroyed and isolated from the rest of the world for decades, with only the vodka bottle to save them.
It is something that is quite unfortunate, and can be forgiven by an ignorant Egyptian population that have never had geography lesson at school, but this is unforgiveable by an Egyptian government tourism website that should know better.
They have no clue as to how offensive it is to consider the behaviour of Russians like Europeans.
There is a long standing hostility between Russia and Europe and America known as the 'Cold War' that spans the period since World War 2, and historically goes back to World War 1 and beyond.
There is actually far more historical hostility between Russia and the West than there is between the Middle East and Islam and the West.
The Cold War is in fact still continuing now, with corrupt Russian oil and energy barons causing considerable instability in the Balkan and Eastern European countries that border on Russia, where there has been long standing conflict and tension in those areas, but this time, the attacks are under the guise of ruthless corporate tactics of fuel companies that have left a considerable number of countries cold and vulnerable during winter months by refusing to supply fuel at affordable prices over months at a time.
You would never get such a thing in the UK. It is impossible for such a thing to happen in the Uk for example, because cutting the population's fuel supply when it is at risk of dying of cold temperatures during this time is the same as genocide.
Putin has actually only just recently in the last few days made war like statements to 'Europe' regarding Bosnia, a state in Former Yugoslavia (part of Eastern Europe) that wants to assert independence as an 'Islamic country'. 'Europe' is actually defending this country's right to do so, while Russia makes 'hostile' jestures. This just shows what false loyalty, Egyptians have to be covertly 'lining the pockets of the Russians'.
Egyptians also seem to be forgetting that Russians are also far more racist than Europeans, despite the fact in Europe, people actually are used to making critical statements as part of a 'learning' and 'discoursive' process, without it generally resorting to killing people, death threats or civil unrest. In Europe satire is seen as a safety valve where people can express their opinions, and these opinions can be gauged and reacted to accordingly.
In Russia, Islamophobia is rife, Chechnya is a prime example of a state that has been targeted for 'obliteration' as a Muslim minority nation that is part of the former Russian union, and has been seeking independence for decades, but has not been 'given this permission' unlike other states which have now been 'returned' to their natural status as 'Eastern European', simply because 'Chechnya' happens to be 'oil rich'.
I have seen film footage of the way that the population of Chechnya have been subjected to such huge numbers and array of subjugation from the Russian state, with expulsion of the native population, during the Cold War era, total obliteration of cities etc. that you seem to forget that the military tactics and respect for 'cultural values' of the Russians within their own 'territory' against their own 'civilians' are quite brutal. You seem not to realise the same excuse is given of 'Islamophobia'.
Nasr, you may have forgotten that there was a conflict in Afghanistan with the West supporting the Taliban against invasion by 'Russia'.
Just because 'the West' is war mongering now over Iraq, it does not mean that automatically 'Russians are good'.
At the same time, you might not even realise that Saudi Arabia has also been quite supportive of 'the West' and 'America' in the attacks against Iraq, for example, selling military aeroplanes and the like, which is quite a substantial gesture, in terms of 'aiding the military effort' by supplying the military hardware to do so.
Normally one says for example, that the CIA have supported xxx because they sold them the arms to do so. In this case, we also must remember that the American economy is also propped up by literally trillions of Saudi Oil Dollars, from the foremost 'Islamic state'.
You also seem to forget that 'the Egyptian government are close allies with the American presidency'.
The reality is that when I was in Egypt, very little people seemed to have a clue about reality, culture and identity, and like the Russians, they seemed to be far too busy getting lost in some form of delusional fantasy world of escapism that has more to do with their own ego fantasies and probably a lot of vodka than anything else. To call this 'Western' is a very big joke.
In the UK, when people are 'drunk and disorderly' they get arrested and put in a police cell.
When somebody commits violence against a woman, they are given a criminal record.
When they sexually harrass someone, they lose their job, and this goes on their personal record.
Racial discrimination, whether this is 'religious', or 'ethnic' or 'due to colour' against Muslims, Jews, Christians or people from any nationality is also discouraged, because the main focus of the justice system in the UK for example is to discourage violent behaviour between any people for any cause. Violence or discrimination against any person, on any grounds, is not encouraged.
If you knew anything about the positive values of the West, I would suggest that you look at the values of the UN charter for human rights, and see what the positive aspirations of the Western world are actually about. They tend to be about universal values such as respect for all people regardless. They do not condone 'sexual harrassment and abuse' and pretend that this is 'freedom'. Freedom at the expense of 'women' based on a most 'ill informed excuse'.
I THINK SEX MADNESS IS IN EVERY PLACE IN WORLD NOT ONLY IN EGYPT .
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